Gutted

There are certain phrases that feel like that one part on mortal combat-- especially where the fighter rips in and holds the beating virtual heart. I remember seeing this video game at my cousin's house and thinking, "sick..." but that image is less virtual and more reality lately. I feel like I am not in control of my own emotions, but someone else is gripping them. Economics might tell me to evaluate the cost/benefit ratio of this relationship. The scales are tipping and only my subconscious seems concerned.