my Biology 101 run

Yesterday I went running along the Provo River trail. When I got to the 1/2 mile marker, a chubby blonde girl and this uber-fit red-t-shirt-guy turned around and started running toward me. They looked at me with fear in their eyes (especially the chubby blonde girl who looked actually quite frantic) and said, "watch out for the crazy racoon!" I heard this shrill noice and looked about 30 feet in front of me on the trail at this psycho-looking racoon. I thought that maybe I could dodge it, seeing that I only had a 1/2 mile to the lake and I really wanted to get there, but everytime I made a move, so did the racoon. Then, it started to run toward me at full speed making that really strange noise. Needless to say, I took off running as fast as I could, looking back every few feet to make sure that the coon hadn't caught up to me. It seemed that everytime I got faster, so did he (not to mention his crazy grin)!! Finally there was a enough distance between us for me to catch my breathe and laugh about the situation. My amusement didn't last long b/c suddenly I felt something wet hit my forehead. Confusing it for a large bug, I automatically hit my head, only to feel a glob of bird-poo. The whole time my joints were stiff and my legs felt like lead with every pound of pavement. Not exactly the peaceful escape I was looking for, but it was certainly one of my more epic runs.