one week & one not so weak

These past few days have been wonderfully strange. I don't think I have ever in my life witnessed God so much in all of things I do. This week everything seems to be reaching an end-- and not an abrupt one, but a perfect one. I feel like every door that was left hanging open, all of my "what ifs", every "why did I do that" have all been gently resolved, closed and washed away. I stand amazed! In a world where everything seemed so fleeting, so 'blown about by the wind', I suddenly feel so very sure of what I'm supposed to do. I don't know if it's happiness, joy, sadness, fear or my desire for consistancy that leaves this uneasy-can't-eat feeling in my stomach-- but I do know that my emotions have reached a new level of sensetivity and I am unable to walk and not feel. Dramatic? Perhaps, but I still can't shake this off. I won't elaborate on the details, so it is enough to say that I am ready and waiting for Sunday-- once again.

I think every non-secure thought that I do have has made manifest in my dreams-- man! They are getting more bazzerk by the night. Last night I was floating the Haw River, singing while whiping willow branches across the water and watching huge fish (one that looked like a dog and had been in the river for 38 years) with hippie bearded men who "knew the river" and the strange old women who trusted them.

And to prove that I am still normal and not just a mass of emotion and strange river dreams-- here's the basics: I have been working on homwork, projects and presentations. I am getting ready for the end of the school year and spending my free time with friends (Fern & Randy). Since my thoughts are generally occupied, and my apartment usually empty-- it's nice to not be alone.